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Herm and Betsy looked at the message and the photos, and then helped me search the Internet for references to Shirley, or to Tasha, or "Tasha Divine."There were a number of hits for girls named "Tasha" and several of them were good-looking young women. One of the Tashas maintained her own web site -- evidently solely for the posting of scantily clad photos of her.But none of the photos was of Shirley, and there were no hits at all for the name "Tasha Divine." Girls on Fire" turned out to be a popular name for a skin movie. Three movies with that title had been produced in the past two decades. We did manage to zero in on the one Reggie had written to me about, and the film's cast list did include a "Tasha Divine."No pictures. It seemed possible, though, that this was still-another movie in which Shirley had been featured."Is there any way to find out, for sure, whether this is she?" I asked Herm."I can think of two ways, offhand," he said. "One, try to find the movie on VCR or DVD,. I think of myself as a woman and I wonderwhy I would have to go through something so painful just to prove that Iam a woman," I wasn't in tears, but I still felt like a child as Jennyheld me. I starred at the flames as they lapped across the logs. Jennybegan to rub my back. It was something she did when I was wound upabout something. Today it just projected the caring that was alwaysthere."You don't have to do it you know. You will still be a woman in manypeople's eyes," Jenny said. That line hit me. Many people."But that's it Jen. Some people will still think I am some sort ofweirdo just pretending to be a woman," I said in response."I won't, isn't that all that matters?" Jen said to me I looked up andwas warmed all over again. "Are you scared?" Petrified" was my response. Then the fog slowly began to clear in myhead, but the fog condensed and turned into tears. "I am scared youwill leave because then I will really be a freak. I will have beenmutilated," And the tears.
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